Resting in Unknowing
Another Deliciousness in the Mystery of Being
There’s a pervasive misunderstanding that we often perpetuate. It’s the assumption that we have anything whatsoever figured out. And it’s laughable because it doesn’t matter what it is; there just remains an ever-expanding realm of mystery that we do not, and perhaps will never ever know. Even that which we say we have figured out, the closer we look, the clearer we see that we know not. The mind’s task is to protest and assert that this understanding is false and can be disproved.
In our personal lives, this illusion of knowing manifests in various ways. For instance, the more confident individual clings to the belief that they have figured out some portion of their lives. They stride forward as if they hold a compass that always points true. Take a look at the self-help industry and spiritual gurus who have all of the formulas and the steps that are laid out with such surety for their results without considering the millions of factors that skew results. The less confident individual, on the other hand, longing for a similar illusion, craves the piece of certainty that would allow their puzzle to fall neatly into place. Yet, the paradox is obvious: neither types of individuals can escape the endless unfolding of uncertainty. None of us can.
What’s terrificly obvious here is that nothing whatsoever is fully known. In fact, I will go on a limb here and say “nothing is even known”. Somehow, because we have seen every morning for the last say 40 years, seeing the sun rise for 14,000 days, we somehow assume that the next morning is certain, sure and unquestioned. And we take this assumption into other pockets of our lives, painting with broad strokes our belief in certainty— our assumption of some constance. We pencil in our schedules: “My meeting is in 30 minutes”, declaring, as though the future is a debt the universe owes us. We presuppose how that meeting will unfold, who will speak, and what will be decided. Rarely do we pause to consider the sheer improbability that this meeting or any other part of our carefully laid plans, might simply not happen and its results are in the obvious field of unknowns.
“No, you’re wrong! Most of my meetings go as I planned!”
Did you also know that you were going to spill some water on your shirt in that meeting?
Talking of shirt, we plan the clothes we will wear tomorrow, the colors and fabrics that will adorn our bodies, yet as we plan, we remain blind to the countless sidetracks that might veer us from our most certain intentions. Perhaps it could be a sudden storm, an unplanned journey, a chance encounter. All these and more can scatter our best-laid designs. Look at it! Really look! Isn’t it so obvious how uncertain everything is? Isn’t your own direct experience hinting at this truth? Don’t you see how you may go take a pee break that was unplanned, receive a phone call that you didn’t schedule, grab a sweater to cover yourself- a direction you didn’t preschedule in that very moment.
Take the biggest guess about where or what you’d be doing(from an activities stand point) in 15 years from today and see the chance that you’d be spot on or off. I bet it would be by a lot.
Given a thousand guesses, could we ever truly predict the turnings of a single day? The unknowable unfolds before us like a river carving new paths, indifferent to the maps we have drawn. My dear friend, let us sit with this together: there’s absolutely nothing certain, nothing granted, nothing guaranteed— not the next day, not the next year, not even the next minute. I know this does sound like a dirge or some dark melancholic truth. Yes, at first glance, this may seem like a thief of joy, or where I am driving at may feel like a shadow creeping into the room to extinguish the candle’s glow. But look again! There’s something more profound about this understanding. If we could see clearly — truly see— that our sense of certainty(however we hold it) is an illusion, a flickering mirage, we might discover an opening, a vast vast radical invitation. From this perspective here, it delivers a quality of peace that’s totally …totally indescribable.
What’s this invitation? It is to spread your metaphoric arms, as though embracing the sky and fall deeply, recklessly into the Unknown. Throw yourself in full abandon into the abyss of uncertainty till it feels as though you are cradled in the arms of the same primordial Mystery! Fling yourself so passionately into the arms of Mystery itself .
Oh, nothing — absolutely nothing brings more peace than staying here! It’s weird for the untrained. I know! And even more strangely, it’s in no way the peace that comes with finding answers! It’s betterly-worse than that(if you would permit me to use that phrase)! It’s the peace of surrender. This peace is a kaleidoscope of vivid expressions— a flurry of colorful dance that life performs for us in its infinite forms.
“But how do I stay in this state?”, you may ask. For me, in my moments of remembering, I hold close to my chest the mantra “I know nothing”. What does this look like in practice? It begins with a mantra, “I do not know.” I do not know what will unfold in the next minute, the next day, the next year. But I open my heart to it—all of it. Every twist and turn, every unexpected revelation, every unwelcome surprise. In every moment, as I am reminded, I rest in this Unknowing, even when its bed feels as unyielding as stone. Oh, how life responds when we rest in this way.
Coincidentally, it feels like life’s great comedy, its divine humor lies in its refusal to be contained within the borders of our expectations. However, faith, true faith is resting in this Unknowing— certain not in any premeditated outcome but certain that at the core, at our very core, there’s only just completeness. This completeness outweighs any material objects, any plotted outcomes or any grasp for hope. This completeness is not something that can be earned or achieved. It simply is! It’s radiant and whole.
And so, we rest. We rest in this Unknowing, this delicious uncertainty. For what else could it mean to truly rest in God — the Unknown, the vast and boundless Essence that defies every attempt to define or capture it!
To rest in Unknowing is to rest in Mystery.
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"unfolds before us like a river carving new paths, indifferent to the maps we have drawn" uuugh what a beautifully written and soooo important profound and impactful work of Art you have created. So happy and blessed that I have found your writing today. 🤍
Such a wonderful read, Seye! I can relate a lot to the contemplation you share here.
First of all, this line really stood out to me: “as though the future is a debt the universe owes us.” It so perfectly and efficiently captures a complex truth that speaks of the level of expectation we hold towards life—instead of letting it unfold, as it will anyway.
For a long time I was wondering how to balance this resting in the unknown with, still, moving with some goal in mind. Through practice, I found (and I know you know) that it’s not the action per se that needs to be surrendered—but the outcome of it. Unbound by the expectation, we are free to experience life in its raw form, which is the only form that has ever existed.
I wonder what has been your way of coming to terms with living through the unknown? :)